Don’t Worry, Keep Walking

Yes, it has been a long time. Too much to ‘splain, so let me sum up.

In the two months or so since our last blog post, we’ve had some personal health issues, and other very troubling issues with family distract and derail us from our quest. Beyond that, all of our fund raising efforts have either fallen flat, or in some cases they’ve yet to leave the ground.

Quite honestly, Martha and I have felt very lost and abandoned.

Today, however, is a new day and the Lord has given us encouragement through our pastor, Scott Palmer and a kick in the pants through our 14 year old daughter, Courtney, who is wise beyond her years. So, we as a family have decided to take action, and I’ve decided to get off my blessed assurance and write about something that’s been on my mind the last few weeks.

In September of 1988 Bobby McFerrin released a little song titled “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” A fun tune encouraging those who listened to find happiness in, or in spite of, life’s troubles. Then in August of 1994, a group of loonies, otherwise known as Soul’d Out – the Christian band Martha and I are in – just for fun came up with alternate lyrics to the song, based on the Israelites’wanderings in the desert. We called it “Don’t Worry, Keep Walking.”

While I enjoyed Mr. McFerrin’s song okay, I’ve actually had some of the words of our version echoing in the wide open spaces of my noggin, and I think I know why.

The Israelites wandered in the desert for so long because of their own mistakes. They doubted God’s faithfulness to do what He said He’d do (thank you Brother Scott). They grumbled about the way God was providing for them (perhaps manna left something to be desired but hey, it sure beats nothing). And probably the most egregious of their mistakes, they turned from God to their own devices.

While you’re not going to find any golden calves in our living room, Martha and I have made our own blunders. We froze. We allowed life’s problems to distract us from the extraordinary. We quit looking for the cloud by day and fire by night. We quit walking. Not that we meant to, it just kind of happened.

I mentioned Courtney earlier. She is so cool! At lunch today Martha and I were lamenting the whole adoption saga and Courtney stepped up, and in a loving, gentle way she challenged her parents:

“Well what are we waiting for?” she asked.

Martha and I blinked at each other. “Uh, good question.”

“Have you been pursuing God about it, believing in His ability to provide and taking action upon that belief?”

I cleared my throat and Martha began to nervously arrange the salsa bowls on the table. “Not exactly. See, we don’t know what to do.”

Teenage eye roll. “Well have you asked?”
“Hmmm, not lately…”

Sufficiently humbled by my beautiful daughter, I then proceeded to explain how it’s difficult for someone of my limited mental capacity to trust my interpretation of God’s will. Isn’t that like asking a three year old to explain molecular biology? I don’t think she fully bought it. She’s now grounded until she can quit making me feel silly.

So, what are we going to do about it?

For starters, we’re going to approach the throne daily, as a family, asking for clear direction. We’ve rededicated ourselves to the family prayer time that seems to ebb and flow with the business of life. We want and need His guidance. We anticipate hearing from Him and following His will.

Secondly, we’re going to take up the torch for the fundraising efforts. This is where I ask for your help and prayers. See, I’d rather sell my internal organs off than ask someone for help. Yeah, I know that’s awfully prideful and even foolish, but here I am facing the facts that we need help to make it happen. So pray for me and my sinful pride. The last thing I want is to stand in the way of the Lord’s glory. Pray also that the Lord give us a plan, bless our efforts and make them fruitful.

Finally, I believe that we will be called (if we haven’t already) to step out in faith, not knowing where the provision is coming from, but trusting that it does. Did you hear that giant gulp? Oh, that was me.

It’s time for action, and the action we’re going to take is to take our case to the Lord, day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute until He moves. In His good time. Lord, move, or move me. During this time of presidential campaigning, we’re going to revive our fundraising efforts for a cause that’s nobler than all the politicians on Capitol Hill.

The desert is vast. The challenge is big.

It’s time to get walking again.

~ Matt

The Cost of Adoption

Estimated Costs:

Agency fees (includes China Humanitarian Aid, document translations).....$5,915.00

Home Study.....$4,500.00

Fingerprints/background checks/Citizenship & Immigration/medicals/copies of licenses.....$4,100.00

Travel Expenses.....$17,610.00

Post Adoption Legal Fees.....$950.00

Total Estimated Cost.....$33,075.00

If I think about how much money it costs to adopt a child for too long I either get queasy or angry.  The queasy part, well that’s obvious.

The anger, that’s another story.  To put it bluntly, sometimes it seems to me like the whole adoption industry is nothing but a racket.

Allow me to qualify that statement by saying this: I think there are tons of adoption agencies, and individuals who work for them who truly care about what they’re doing.  We’ve experienced it firsthand.  For them it’s not just a job, but a passion to find homes for kids who desperately need them.  For most of these case workers they’re not in it for the money, believe me.  They put their hearts on the line with the adoptive families and children every day.  But they need to eat, and make a living, just like the rest of us.

All that being said, after the governmental bureaucracy and red tape (times 2 for international adoption), a hand out at every turn in the road, certifying documents, then certifying the certifications, etc, etc, it sometimes feels like we’re being scammed.  What kind of world do we live in where a whole industry is invented for finding homes for orphaned children?

The obvious answer: a broken world.  We live in an imperfect, broken world where there are people who exploit children every day (not just orphans) for personal gain, or worse.  People are swindled out of their savings every day - ever hear of a Ponzi Scheme?

But no one subjects us to it against our will.  We know going into it what we’re facing and we wade right in.  So why do we do it?  I would say for our family it comes down to a couple of specific reasons. 

Reason one: the call of God.  No we haven’t heard an audible voice or seen a 600 foot image of Jesus, but still, we’ve felt the call.  In our hearts.  The place where Jesus often does His most profound work.  Martha and I had our hearts turned toward adoption before we had Courtney, when we were struggling to have a biological child of our own.  The seed was planted then and it grew.  Adopting Cassidy was like applying a hyper dose of Miracle Grow on it.  From that point on our lives were forever changed in a super natural way.  God’s call on our lives had brought on some blood, sweat and tears (good thing I always liked that band), but it had also opened our eyes to the dramatic need all across our world, not just in China.  There is a tremendous, unrelenting need for families who will step up and care for the widow and the orphan, like we’re commanded to do.  Some dear friends of ours have a blog called “One More in China”.  Another friend’s is “One More Ladybug”.  Yet another is called “A Narrow Path”.  Ours is “The Adoption Call”.  Seeing a theme here?  It’s our mission – our ministry.  We’re going to follow it where ever it takes us.  For the sake of the call.

Now, before you start believing that we’re this awesome, noble, totally altruistic family, please don't.  We’re not.  So not.  Which leads me to our other reason: we want to.  Yes, it’s that simple.  It’s an incredible, amazing thing to watch God transform a family of three into a family of four – soon to be five.  Simply put, the girls would love a baby brother and Martha and I would love a son.  My best friend is taking his son through a biblically based right of passage that he has developed on his own, and I can’t wait to do that for my little boy.  Plus, I’ve gotta admit, traveling to China is just way cool.  Neat how God matches our calling with our desires, huh.

Yeah, our estimated cost for adoption is over 33 grand.  Is it hot in here or is it just me?  Please pray for us in this area, because we're going to need His help to cover the cost.

But to stand half a world away and to have this little child brought into your world, perhaps kicking and screaming at first, and to have your heart stolen yet again by this precious little face with dark brown eyes, to watch as your family grows in love and laughter, then to see that child who has become as much a part of the family as if they’d been born into it give their life to Christ, well that’s…….Priceless.

~ Matthew

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  James 1:27 (NIV)

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Treasures

I've just got to share this conversation posted by a friend on her blog.  CJ is an adoptive parent and Mr. I is well...I'll let you decide what you think. 

 

CJ: I've got 10 kids; 7 are adopted from China.

Mr. I: Why in the h... would you do that?
CJ: Well, sir, there are millions of children in China alone needing a family.
Mr. I: Well, adopting 7 won't make a difference.
CJ: Tell that to them.
Mr. I: Tell it to who?
CJ: My 7 children.
Mr. I: Tell it to the 3 you didn't adopt when they lose out.
CJ: Lose out on what?
Mr. I: Their inheritance.
CJ: What's an inheritance?
Mr. I: That's what it's all about.
CJ: Sir, my inheritance isn't on this earth.
S.i.l.e.n.c.e.
So, it was a seed. Probably planted on rocky soil but nonetheless, it was a seed.

Thanks, C.J.  Good reminders for me as well:  Adopting one child changes the whole world for that child.  Whatever I may give up here is not worth anything compared to adding to the treasures in heaven. 

 "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Matthew 6:20

~ Martha

Wall one goes down

We got a very short, to the point e-mail from our agency yesterday.  To shorten it further, "We can proceed."  And there was much rejoicing!  My last conversation with the agency on this issue was something like, "They've never approved this before, but we can try."  And God clears a path! 

My first thought was to post this news immediately, but I didn't.  I've been trying to figure out why I'm not shouting it from the mountain tops.  I've debated (and still am) whether to share this, because this posting my very personal thoughts is putting my heart out there for all to see.  I said I would do that from the beginning of this blog, but it's proving harder than I suspected.  You see, I prayed every day many times that God would cause the answer from China to be "not a problem."  He has done exactly what I asked in this situation.  Now I find myself thinking how many of these big and small miracles God's going to have to do to make this adoption come to fruition.  I must admit to fearing that.  Yesterday, even as I was thanking God for doing this for us, I was questioning why He would keep it up?  Why would God keep working like this for me?  I know me.  So does He.  Is He absolutely sure I'm up to this?

I learned a long time ago that God is big enough for my questions.  So I've been asking them.  What He put on my heart is the story of the man in Mark 9 who brought his son to Jesus.  The boy had been demon possessed for years.  The disciples had not been able to rid the boy of the demon.  Jesus response was, "O unbelieving generation, how long shall I stay with you?  How long shall I put up with you?  Bring the boy to me."  The father did that and said to Jesus, "If you can do anything..."  I think Jesus was a little offended, "If you can?  Everything is possible for him who believes." The boy's father answers, "I do believe.  Help me overcome my unbelief."

Matt & I have discussed this passage many times.  I love how the father believes, but knows part of him doesn't.  This is the conflict I'm feeling.  God just showed me yet again that He CAN and WILL provide.  I honestly have no doubts that God can do whatever God wants to do.  I struggle with letting go, realizing I'm not in control at all, and believing that God wants to and will keep working His miraculous ways in my family. 

In this whole process, I know God is going to grow me.  This adoption process is a very slow and He knows two of my biggest struggles are impatience and wanting to be in control.  My poor husband.  These are not his struggles, but He's going to have to watch the painful process of my ups and downs.  Jesus' answer to why the disciples couldn't drive out the demon?  "This kind can come out only by prayer."  So as I make that phone call to set up the home study process, my prayer is simply: I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief. 

Thank you for all the prayers.  God is answering!
~Martha

Prayer please

No long post now, but our doctor's letter is on it's way to the facilitator in China.  Please pray for a favorable response. 
Thank you!

Walls

Sorry for taking so long to get a new blog post up, I seem to have myself spread pretty thin right now.
 

When I think of the word “wall” several images spring to mind.  The Great Wall of China is one for sure.  We went there on our trip to adopt Cassidy, and what an experience.  Standing there gazing at those ancient stones and imagining all of the labor it must’ve taken just to build the section I could see, I was dumbstruck.  Okay, so I’m dumbstruck quite often, but I’m currently building a retaining wall in my back yard, so it’s possible I might have the teeniest, tiniest inkling.  I also think of the Green Monster at Fenway Park in Boston.  As of yet I haven’t had the chance to see it in person, but it’s an icon in the baseball world.  I’ve always been fond of the story of Samson, and I’ve pictured myself, chained up between pillars supporting the walls of the great city and through the Lord’s strength yanking them down.  Without the part where I die, of course.

Walls support, divide, hide, commemorate and demarcate.  But it seems most often, they frustrate and/or hurt when we run into them.

Such is the situation we find ourselves in with our adoption journey.  We’ve barely taken our first steps and already we face an obstacle.  It seems that during the time since we adopted Cassidy, China had changed their rules regarding a particular medicine one of us takes.  What wasn’t an issue six-plus years ago is now a big issue – as in showstopper.

Now those who know me any at all know that my first tendency is to want to blast right through the wall.  I’m not one who quits easy, so if I can’t plow through it I’ll try to go around, climb it, or dig under.  I’d love to just reduce the wall to rubble, but it begs the question – is that what I should do even if I could?

Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God.”  That’s the verse that’s been rattling around in the old noggin lately.  I’ve also been recalling the Biblical history of Joshua and how Joshua and the Israelites obediently marched around the walls of Jericho and God crumbled them.  I think maybe God is telling me “Hey, I’ve got this.  Don’t go beating your head against this one.  I led you here, I’ll see you through.”  God has to tell me these things or else I’d hurtle myself headlong into the wall – like I’ve done so many times in the past.

So, we’re taking steps with our adoption agency that we feel the Lord has led us to take.  Our family doctor has written a letter describing the medicine and why we’re on it.  He was also kind enough to recommend us for adoption even with the medicine.  We’re going to send the letter to China and see what they say.  Yikes.

This is where that word faith comes in.

I can, with all honesty, say that I haven’t been sweating it too much.  The Lord has never done anything in our lives the way we planned it, or saw it going, so why should this adventure be any different?  His plan has always been so different.  Along the way there have been trials that taught us faith and humility.  But you know, His plans are so much more awesome than our tiny dreams.  Without fail, His way may be rough and rocky at times, but it has led us to some beautiful places (thanks Wayne Watson).

Who knows what China will say?  They might say it’s all good and we’ll go rocking on our merry way.  Or they might totally reject the letter.  Either way, we will not be moved, because “greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world.”

So, I guess if I were to summarize I’d say we’re waiting on God to move.  When He calls us to action we’ll be ready.  If the wall grows bigger and more formidable we’ll take a deep breath and rely on Jesus, the author of all our joy.  For we truly believe that He has led us here, and He will not abandon us.  His grace is sufficient in our weakness.

Please be with us in prayer on this matter.  Then sit back and wait, it might be fun to see what new and creative way God comes up with in dealing with this wall.

My head could sure use the break.

~ Matt