Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Hello world

Martha ~

How to start a new blog? I guess with the reason why we are here. We are starting a new adoption journey. Matt & I feel strongly that this is God's call on our life. Sharing it from the beginning seems appropriate. Although we certainly don't know what the trip will hold, God does, and we wait expectantly for all He will do.

Some background ~ In November of 2009, I shared with our church family that God was calling me to do something for Him involving adoption while introducing a new song, "Break My Heart" (lyrics by my hubby). I really didn't know what, but I knew that the call was there. I will admit to getting distracted very shortly after that and not cluing into God's will and not searching as diligently as I should have for exactly what that call was.

Matt and I talked several times over the next few months that God was calling us to do more for Him. Exactly what? Didn't know. The subject of adoption has come up occasionally since 2005, when we adopted our daughter, Cassidy. When the subject came up, we both admitted we had the desire to adopt, but we kept saying we don't have the money anyway, so that must not be it.

Late 2010 ~ My dear daughter, Courtney, asks me if we are going to ever adopt again. I paraphrase...

Me: "Dad and I just haven't felt a strong calling. "

Courtney, "Have you asked?"

Me: "Not in a while. Beside, I just don't see how we can ever afford it. We just don't have the money."

Courtney: "No offense, Mom, but as a Christian, what kind of faith is that?"

Tag. I promised to pray about it.

Early 2011 ~ I started feeling that God was calling us to adoption. It seemed every song on the radio screamed it to me. Brandon Heath - "I don't want to go through the motions." Matthew West, "My Own Little World" and "One Less." Third Day, "Children of God." I promised God, however, that I wouldn't present it to Matt. I don't trust myself in determining God's will versus my own when it comes to kids. I asked God to tell Matt if this is His will so that my influence wouldn't be there. Matt actually said a few things in conversation that led me to believe God was working on him too, but miraculously, I remained silent.

Then one Saturday morning, Matt asked me about the adoption agency that a friend is using and told me to call them with a few questions. We talked a lot about it that day. We agreed to pray, seek God's will, and wait for an answer.

The next day, what is the special music selection at church? "When Love Takes You In." Yep. That's about adoption. God speaking again. New sermon series? Taking our walk with Christ to a new level. Yep.

Later in the week, after much discussion with God, each other, and our girls, we came to the conclusion that another adoption from China is exactly what God is telling us to undertake. I will tell you that from a purely human perspective, it's absolutely crazy, coo coo, nuts. As I shared earlier, we don't have the money to do this. We are in our 40's, for goodness sakes. I could actually think of lots of other excuses, but I've realized they would be just excuses. If the God of the Universe says, "Do this. I'll take care of the details," we choose to obey.

What do we hope to accomplish with this blog? First of all, I don't want anyone to think we're trying to impress with our faith, our commitment, whatever. I will tell you that I'm already having panic attacks when my faith waivers. This is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time and I hope to be very real here.

I hope we will gain some prayer warriors.
I can't wait for us all to be impressed with God and His provision.
I hope someone else will see the miracle of adoption and dive in.
I hope God is glorified in it all.

Hebrews 11:1 ~ "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."