When I think of the word “wall” several images spring to mind. The Great Wall of China is one for sure. We went there on our trip to adopt Cassidy, and what an experience. Standing there gazing at those ancient stones and imagining all of the labor it must’ve taken just to build the section I could see, I was dumbstruck. Okay, so I’m dumbstruck quite often, but I’m currently building a retaining wall in my back yard, so it’s possible I might have the teeniest, tiniest inkling. I also think of the Green Monster at Fenway Park in Boston. As of yet I haven’t had the chance to see it in person, but it’s an icon in the baseball world. I’ve always been fond of the story of Samson, and I’ve pictured myself, chained up between pillars supporting the walls of the great city and through the Lord’s strength yanking them down. Without the part where I die, of course.
Walls support, divide, hide, commemorate and demarcate. But it seems most often, they frustrate and/or hurt when we run into them.
Such is the situation we find ourselves in with our adoption journey. We’ve barely taken our first steps and already we face an obstacle. It seems that during the time since we adopted Cassidy, China had changed their rules regarding a particular medicine one of us takes. What wasn’t an issue six-plus years ago is now a big issue – as in showstopper.
Now those who know me any at all know that my first tendency is to want to blast right through the wall. I’m not one who quits easy, so if I can’t plow through it I’ll try to go around, climb it, or dig under. I’d love to just reduce the wall to rubble, but it begs the question – is that what I should do even if I could?
Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God.” That’s the verse that’s been rattling around in the old noggin lately. I’ve also been recalling the Biblical history of Joshua and how Joshua and the Israelites obediently marched around the walls of Jericho and God crumbled them. I think maybe God is telling me “Hey, I’ve got this. Don’t go beating your head against this one. I led you here, I’ll see you through.” God has to tell me these things or else I’d hurtle myself headlong into the wall – like I’ve done so many times in the past.
So, we’re taking steps with our adoption agency that we feel the Lord has led us to take. Our family doctor has written a letter describing the medicine and why we’re on it. He was also kind enough to recommend us for adoption even with the medicine. We’re going to send the letter to China and see what they say. Yikes.
This is where that word faith comes in.
I can, with all honesty, say that I haven’t been sweating it too much. The Lord has never done anything in our lives the way we planned it, or saw it going, so why should this adventure be any different? His plan has always been so different. Along the way there have been trials that taught us faith and humility. But you know, His plans are so much more awesome than our tiny dreams. Without fail, His way may be rough and rocky at times, but it has led us to some beautiful places (thanks Wayne Watson).
Who knows what China will say? They might say it’s all good and we’ll go rocking on our merry way. Or they might totally reject the letter. Either way, we will not be moved, because “greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world.”
So, I guess if I were to summarize I’d say we’re waiting on God to move. When He calls us to action we’ll be ready. If the wall grows bigger and more formidable we’ll take a deep breath and rely on Jesus, the author of all our joy. For we truly believe that He has led us here, and He will not abandon us. His grace is sufficient in our weakness.
Please be with us in prayer on this matter. Then sit back and wait, it might be fun to see what new and creative way God comes up with in dealing with this wall.
My head could sure use the break.