Humbled and Commissioned

It’s Monday morning, just 2 more sleeps as Martha likes to say, until we leave for China and Samuel. Yesterday morning, two pastors that I respect, look up to and love joined with other members of our church family – a family that we adore – and surrounded Martha, Courtney, Cassidy and I to pray for us and commission us in our journey to bring Samuel home. What a blessing to have people whom I know are better than I could ever dream to be place their hands on my shoulder and carry us to heaven in prayer. I am truly humbled.

But the lesson in humility didn’t just start. It’s been carried out for about a year now. When we took the leap of faith and embarked on another adoption journey back in March of 2010 we knew in some part what we were getting into. We knew it would be a long, long road with mountains of paperwork to climb and oceans of red tape to wade through.

We knew there would be worries. Money, Courtney, Cassidy, and acceptance/approval by friends and family all hit the list. We told you that we wanted to be transparent in this whole process, hoping that anyone who might be interested in adoption would be inspired to take the ride and provide a family to a precious child – and at least one couple has!

But let me swallow this lump in my throat and tell you about what we didn’t expect. Our family on my mom’s side, the Wells, passing the purse (albeit a Texas Longhorn purse) and taking up a sizeable collection to get our funding kicked off at last summer’s family reunion. We didn’t anticipate at least 4 incredible families from our adoption network of friends paying far more, and then some, than what we asked for our fundraiser t-shirts. Our second parents (and you know who you are), have done more for us than we could ever repay – although I pray I get the chance to try! No less than half a dozen individuals/families from OBC have contributed to the cause and some more than once. I like to think I’m a writer, yet I will never be able to come up with the words to express our gratitude. You have overwhelmed us with your love and generosity. Thank you!

That’s just the money part. Family and friends from around the world have encouraged and lifted us up in prayer. Coworkers and neighbors have invested themselves in our saga. Your encouragement has meant more to us than you will ever know.

We knew our brothers and sister in Soul’d Out would be at our side, they have been for over twenty years now – day after day, week after week. We’ve shared far more than just music together. You guys have been there – Sink or Swim and we love you guys with all our heart!

Olivet Baptist Church is an incredible church family, as already alluded to above. But I don’t think we realized how much they would invest themselves into the adventure. We’ve had prayer warriors lifting Samuel and us up on a daily basis. There hasn’t been a week go by when we didn’t get a word of encouragement from a church member. I could write an entire different blog post on how the OBC family has been intertwined in our lives for over 26 years and I hope to some day. But suffice it to say that I am a grateful member of OBC.

I think the last thing I didn’t expect was how the Lord would use all those mentioned above to teach me humility. Not just in Sunday’s prayer, but in the events of the last year. You see, I’m not really all that proud about most things – I never felt there was much in myself alone to be proud of.

 

But for all of the lowliness I’ve always felt inside, I’ve come to realize how prideful I’d become in one certain area, and that’s in letting (or rather, not letting) people help. I’ve never asked for a handout (not even from my parents) in my life, and I’ve taken pride in that fact. After all, doesn’t the Bible say that if a man doesn’t work he doesn’t eat?

Oh, I was okay with selling books, t-shirts or whatever to raise money, but don’t give it to me. Huh unh. I’ve always taken pride in providing for my family. I’ve been proud of my self-sufficiency. There’s that word again. One of the seven deadlies. Yep, I’m guilty. It has pained me to have these gifts lavished upon us. Made me feel like a beggar. Needy.

But isn’t needy exactly what I am? I’m in need of God’s love, grace and redemption every single day of my life. And God has graciously used family, church family and friends to drive this through my stubborn pride and hard head. They’ve been like heavenly sledgehammers, pounding away with unsolicited, unmerited gift after gift, teaching me that it’s okay to let others help – maybe they’re just following a calling from the Lord. Maybe they just want to be a part of something greater than me and my foolish pride. I ask for the Lord’s help then stubbornly try to reject it when it comes from the hands of His children. What a dummy I can be!

I’m not self sufficient. My hope, my abilities, whatever shred of good that might be in me comes from Jesus Christ alone. I am nothing without Him. Oh, I’ve always known that – even wrote songs about it. But I guess it never completely sunk through to my heart. Now I truly understand what it means to place your trust in God Almighty and not your own abilities. Accept what He gives, in whatever form it comes.

And it only took the Lord forty-six years and hundreds of fellow believers to bring me to this realization! Not bad for a guy whose neck size is bigger than his IQ, huh?

To all those mentioned in this rambling blog, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Thanks for the surprises and love. Thanks for the tears of joy you brought to Martha and I, and the lessons in humility – as painful as they might be. Did I say thank you?

I make you this promise: I will be faithful to the calling of raising my son. I will love him completely and unconditionally, just as I do my daughters, and try my best to point him to the cross. I will rely on the Lord to help me teach him what it means to be a Godly man. I will hit my knees daily, realizing my need and my shortcomings as a model to my children and ask Abba Father for help.

Then accept it when it comes.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy…” Philippians 1:3,4

~ Matthew

The roller coaster

We leave for China in 6 more sleeps! 

Even as I say that, I am really questioning if I am dreaming. 

Two years ago, Matt & I agreed that God was telling us to jump on the adoption roller coaster again. 
As I was laying awake one night thinking of all that entailed, I thought of a title for the new blog I was planning on creating to chronicle the ride.  Hand in Hand.  Heart in Heart.  Didn't know where that came from, but I went with it. 

A year later, we saw a picture of a little boy on an e-mail from our agency.  They were calling him Simon.  I don't know how, but Matt & I knew that he was ours.  It's unexplainable.  We just knew.  He was on their special focus list.  Why?  He has a serious congenital heart defect.  He also has a malformed hand.  I honestly didn't connect those conditions with the name of our blog until much later.  So you don't think God is in the details?

So now, we are so close to traveling and there are so many details.  I will not bore you with my to do list, but I will excitedly tell you that it's dwindling.  No, Samuel's room is not ready yet.   But it will be.  Are there things that I'll forget to do?  Yep, but I trust God won't let me forget anything truly important. 

I am trying hard to take deep breaths often and remember that He is in the details.  I'm trying to relax and enjoy the ride.  I need to let go of the handle, throw my hands up in the air, and scream with delight.  By nature, I'm more the hold on tight, close my eyes, groan, and wait for the ride to stop kind of person.  But I AM TRYING!

We can't express enough our thanks for every prayer said on our behalf, every dollar of hard earned money that has been given to us, every time someone asked how it's going, every word of encouragement.  Knowing that those prayers will continue as we travel and as we come home ready to address Samuel's medical needs is more comforting than you will ever know.  God has brought us here.  There is NO DOUBT about that.  He'll stick around for the next chapters too.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  Philippians 1:6

Now, back to that to do list.....

~Martha

New pictures of Samuel

The Lifeline workers who saw Samuel both describe him as sweet.  Looks sweet to me!  Love seeing a smile.

We got some updated medical information.  Not bad news, but please pray that his little body will handle the stress and flights well. 

Isn't he cute?

~Martha

Travel approval!!!!

We officially have travel approval and a confirmed consulate appointment!  I am working on flight arrangements today, but it looks like we'll be leaving for China April 10.

Funny, I have anticipated this news.  Longed for this news.  Waited impatiently for this news.  I've made lists for preparing, lists for packing, lists for everything.  Now all I can seem to accomplish is running around in circles, accomplishing nothing, and saying "Oh my goodness!"   Expectant mom ADD.  It's a scary thing.

We should have new pictures and an updated medical report today or tomorrow.

Prayer request ~ best flight arrangements, wisdom on what/how to prepare Samuel for the trip home, good prices on air & hotel!

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!

~Martha

Looking forward to...

*watching Cassidy see China for the first time since she was 2.
*watching Courtney see China differently 8 years later.
*looking out on a sea of Chinese faces staring at us whities.
*that wonderful feeling when our airplane touches down in Guangzhou, knowing how close we are to our son.
*seeing our son's face in person for the first time
*touching our son's sweet face
*introducing Samuel to anyone who will listen as "our son."
*getting to know the lovely guides that we've heard so much about - we still have fond memories of the guides from our last trip.

Okay, knowing me, you all know I have to give a list of not looking forward to also ~ can't try to snow anyone into thinking I'm so spiritual that I won't have any complaints.

Not looking forward to...
*that long, long, long flight (motion sickness + claustrophobia = me no like airplanes)
*not being able to understand the language(s) in China (especially when Samuel speaks)
*watching our son be frightened, sad, uncertain
*not having Diet Pepsi for two weeks

So the good outweighs to bad exponentially, because I sure didn't list all the good.  I have been told that I don't let my emotions show very often, so don't let my outward calmness confuse you.  When people ask me how I'm feeling, I say I am excited.  That's not enough of a word to describe it.  I looked up some synonyms to help me:  charged, beside myself, delighted, eager, enthusiastic, fired up, thrilled.  In a nutshell, I am doing the Snoopy dance on the inside!!!!

A big thank you to yet another generous family who supplemented our adoption fund this weekend!  I am completely in awe of God's provision for us.  He must have big plans for our Samuel. 

~Martha

God just keeps showing up!

I am not a person who believes that God is obligated to do what I tell ask him to do.  I do believe, however, that sometimes He doesn't act because we don't ask.  There's a scripture about that - James 4.  I will admit that I get wrapped up in my worrying and forget to ask the ONE who can actually do something about my worries.  Last week and this, I have been specifically asking God to provide moolah and telling Him (ha) that the grant from Show Hope and the no interest loan from ABBA fund that we have applied for would be nice.  I also added that if they could come this week, I would sure appreciate it.  I can honestly say I've been checking e-mail and snail mail for word - asking and waiting expectantly, you know.  I've also apologized to God for telling Him how to provide and adding that I wouldn't be mad if he provided another way ;)

A dear family handed me a card yesterday - with a very generous gift for our adoption fund.  Unexpected.  Not specifically asked for.  God's provision.

Today - mailbox has a letter from Show Hope - we have been awarded an adoption assistance grant!  Hoped for.  Specifically asked for.  God's provision.

I would have been thrilled to have all the funds we needed six months ago, but then we wouldn't have had to pray and ask, waiting expectantly, and trusting that what He began in us would be completed - Philippians 1:6.  

I hope no one thinks that I keep posting about money expecting anyone to hand me a check.  I don't look at people and think, they have money, I wonder if they'll give me some.  As a matter of fact, it's hard to accept those donations.  We have to swallow a lump of pride every time.  But we are truly humbly grateful and trust that God's blessings will rain down on those who feel led to help us. 

We're not to that finish line yet. There's still a gap between what will be due and the bank balance, but He's gonna do it.  In the meantime, I'm going to keep praying and watching for the loan application approval and for whatever else He has planned.

On another (but somewhat related) topic, the girls are on spring break.  We are going to spend to week getting Courtney's "new" room ready for her, then starting  on getting Courtney's "old" room ready for Samuel.  I don't know if the girls will enjoy it was much as I will, but making a place for Samuel is so exciting.  I can already picture him in that room, playing with his toys, his clothes hanging in the closet.  Then I can picture him going into either of his sisters' rooms and getting booted out because he won't leave them alone!  I think I might even enjoy that (at first anyway.)  The girls are so ready to meet their brother too.  They will probably let him hang in their rooms for a while even.  Anyway, I'm looking forward to spending the week with my girls.

Prayer request - God's perfect provision and timing for our travel, Samuel's health, protected health for the rest of us, too.

Thank you!!!!!

~Martha

Officially waiting for travel approval!

The last document (Article 5) that was needed to trigger travel approval has been completed. 

We are now officially waiting for China to invite us to come on over! 

From now, we can expect to wait 2-3 weeks for travel approval, two business days after that for a consulate appointment to be scheduled, then we can book those flights.  I think we're still looking at mid-April for travel. 

We are so excited and ready to go get our boy!

Prayer request:  Our potential travel dates are right in the big middle of the Guangzhou Trade Fair.  I'm told just our hotel could cost us $3,000 more because of that.  I'm also told that flights are higher as well as everything else.  Please pray for God's perfect provision and timing and for wisdom for us in making any decisions that arise.

Thank you all for caring!!!

~Martha